I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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