He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
