You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sponge bath it is.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize