He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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