I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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