how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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