The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
