I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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