Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
