I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
