This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
