He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize