The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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