Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
