ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
