if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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