somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
