So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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