kristin has been a bad kristin
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
