wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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