he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
