'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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