Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
