We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
