Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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