I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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