a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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