I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
