wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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