what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize