He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
