people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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