The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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