it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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