I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
