we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
