For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
