Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
