Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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