I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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