I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
