we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
