I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize