so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize