I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My ass is underappreciated
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
