I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
