Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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