Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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