I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
