she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
