I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
even my farts smell like vagina
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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