3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
