you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize
