I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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