She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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