So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
