i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
