So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
