Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just forgot I was standing up.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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